if there's one thing i hate about my new job is that it takes me far away from writing. it feels a lifetime away since i had any time to fully immerse in a pensive state where my thoughts come together. through the whirlwind of events that has gone by since my last post i've become the cadre of regiment that has no name. my thoughts, static and life, manufactured.
these latent claims stem from a yearning to be. all around, i see passion and drive as people live their heart's content. my insecurities have shed all light of realization. i worry if this will last forever. it's not supposed to, it can't.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
after thought
whilst pondering the semantics of a 'relationship', i worked it out to mean: connection, association, or involvement. if you choose to be vague, it can mean anything, from an emotive boy-girl union to a gastronomic peanut butter & jelly sandwich on the opposite end of the spectrum.
it's the melding of two (or more) wholly separate entities that stand prominent in their own right, but brought together, it's what capitalists today call a synergic integration. in the case of peanut butter & jelly, pure genius! i don't take either without the other; too bland for my liking.
i recently read Antoine de Saint Exupery's legendary 'The Little Prince' and the lesson which struck me most from this simple yet profound children's fable are the lines spoken by a fox that the little prince met when he first landed on planet Earth: 'You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed' and 'It is the time you have spent with your rose that makes your rose so important'. see, the little prince has a beautiful yet self-indulgent vain rose (with just 4 thorns) on his planet which he encapsulates within a glass jar to avoid its petals from wilting and falling off against the harsh winds. he has a complex relationship with this rose because though he was initially attracted to her beauty he eventually grew weary of her vain speeches. when he lands on planet earth, he comes across rows and rows of rosebushes that contains thousands of roses. yet, not one appeals to him in beauty or scent. he gets upset, firstly because he thought that his rose was the only rose in the entire universe, and secondly because he begins to miss his unique rose because it is the one he has grown to love.
an idealistic view of a relationship, an emotional one that is, is to always be with the one your heart wants. wants are hardly ever practical. when you don't get what you really really want, your mind is unsettled to the point of frustration. during this weakened state of mind, though conscious of your actions, the proverbial verbal tact filter device you've relied on for so long, fails.
you whine, criticize, judge and mock your source of frustration. you turn into one of those inane pms stricken girls usually prevalent in hollywood films that you silently vowed never to be. eye for an eye, you unconsciously wish to (emotionally) hurt the person who's hurt you and when you succeed in doing so, realize that you've been a first class female dog throughout the ordeal.
reality bites. Francis Bacon once wrote, 'it is impossible to love and be wise'.
maybe the rule of this bonding game is to let go (therein lies the paradox). to create that infamous 'space' we need so much for lack of a better excuse to gain autonomy. it is after all written in the stars. mars is, if my calculations are correct, approximately 74.4 million miles away from venus. any closer and the universe wouldn't be as we know it today.
it's the melding of two (or more) wholly separate entities that stand prominent in their own right, but brought together, it's what capitalists today call a synergic integration. in the case of peanut butter & jelly, pure genius! i don't take either without the other; too bland for my liking.
i recently read Antoine de Saint Exupery's legendary 'The Little Prince' and the lesson which struck me most from this simple yet profound children's fable are the lines spoken by a fox that the little prince met when he first landed on planet Earth: 'You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed' and 'It is the time you have spent with your rose that makes your rose so important'. see, the little prince has a beautiful yet self-indulgent vain rose (with just 4 thorns) on his planet which he encapsulates within a glass jar to avoid its petals from wilting and falling off against the harsh winds. he has a complex relationship with this rose because though he was initially attracted to her beauty he eventually grew weary of her vain speeches. when he lands on planet earth, he comes across rows and rows of rosebushes that contains thousands of roses. yet, not one appeals to him in beauty or scent. he gets upset, firstly because he thought that his rose was the only rose in the entire universe, and secondly because he begins to miss his unique rose because it is the one he has grown to love.
an idealistic view of a relationship, an emotional one that is, is to always be with the one your heart wants. wants are hardly ever practical. when you don't get what you really really want, your mind is unsettled to the point of frustration. during this weakened state of mind, though conscious of your actions, the proverbial verbal tact filter device you've relied on for so long, fails.
you whine, criticize, judge and mock your source of frustration. you turn into one of those inane pms stricken girls usually prevalent in hollywood films that you silently vowed never to be. eye for an eye, you unconsciously wish to (emotionally) hurt the person who's hurt you and when you succeed in doing so, realize that you've been a first class female dog throughout the ordeal.
reality bites. Francis Bacon once wrote, 'it is impossible to love and be wise'.
maybe the rule of this bonding game is to let go (therein lies the paradox). to create that infamous 'space' we need so much for lack of a better excuse to gain autonomy. it is after all written in the stars. mars is, if my calculations are correct, approximately 74.4 million miles away from venus. any closer and the universe wouldn't be as we know it today.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
idol gives back
if this doesn't bring tears to your eyes, you are a cold fish.
this, amongst others, is why carrie underwood's my favourite idol to date.
this, amongst others, is why carrie underwood's my favourite idol to date.
a wild life
over the weekend, i had the opportunity to travel up to Janda Baik for 2 days to meet & interview Frederique, a french lady who's called Malaysia her home for the past 6 years.
she stumbled across Malaysia by accident while en route to Thailand from Singapore. she immediately fell in love with the country, its rain forests, culture and people. after settling down for 3 years, she found her soul mate, a malaysian and as a pair they opted to abide in the countryside where they run a simple guest house. there, every minute detail was built and installed by her husband and friends. aptly referred by them as a 'small paradise' the guest house is nestled amidst the relatively undisturbed jungle and even has 2 natural rivers flowing across its lush green surroundings. to say she loves nature would be an understatement and it is this passion that's driven her to advocate Janda Baik as an eco-tourist destination.
the villagers of Janda Baik embrace Fred within their community with open arms; to quote one villager, 'she's extremely amiable and is so willing to learn and immerse herself into the malay culture'. the fact that she speaks bahasa fluently breaks all communication barriers.
like most french (i mean no offense by stereotyping them, or her as a whole, but from observation, this is what i've come to conclude) Fred loves reading philosophy. i took a peek into her collection and found the philosopher's must haves from kundera to antoine de saint exupery's the little prince.
her faith in Islam is strong as well though not in the head-covering traditional sense. she is well read about the religion and lives by the book of God, another reason why she wants to be close to his natural creations. in her spare time Fred writes children's novels for PTS publishing and is a french-malay-english translator for a certain company she never mentioned. her bahasa malaysia is a mile ahead of mine!
one thing i must point out though, i love the way she wears the kain batik. she's got heaps of them since its her staple wear while going about her business around Janda Baik. unlike the traditional way it is worn tied around the waist by hand, she gets hers sewn in a bias cut which is extremely flattering on the figure (i plan to emulate this look).
As we move on to a self-indulgent era surrounded by superficialities, (oh damn...the dark roots of my barbie bleached mane are showing and i haven't made an appointment with my hairdresser! like, yikes! i can't attend the party of the year where dj-i'm-just-here-to-score-hoe is performing looking like a blonde skunk gone wrong replica!) it was humbling to meet an individual like Fred. she reminds me: that the search for a spiritual happiness begins at the roots of God's gift, our beloved mother earth - if we can learn to observe with patience and a sense of adventure.
catch Malaysia My Second home beginning 6th april 2008, 4pm every Sundays on ntv7.
p/s: Fred's episode won't be on air til may
xo
she stumbled across Malaysia by accident while en route to Thailand from Singapore. she immediately fell in love with the country, its rain forests, culture and people. after settling down for 3 years, she found her soul mate, a malaysian and as a pair they opted to abide in the countryside where they run a simple guest house. there, every minute detail was built and installed by her husband and friends. aptly referred by them as a 'small paradise' the guest house is nestled amidst the relatively undisturbed jungle and even has 2 natural rivers flowing across its lush green surroundings. to say she loves nature would be an understatement and it is this passion that's driven her to advocate Janda Baik as an eco-tourist destination.
the villagers of Janda Baik embrace Fred within their community with open arms; to quote one villager, 'she's extremely amiable and is so willing to learn and immerse herself into the malay culture'. the fact that she speaks bahasa fluently breaks all communication barriers.
like most french (i mean no offense by stereotyping them, or her as a whole, but from observation, this is what i've come to conclude) Fred loves reading philosophy. i took a peek into her collection and found the philosopher's must haves from kundera to antoine de saint exupery's the little prince.
her faith in Islam is strong as well though not in the head-covering traditional sense. she is well read about the religion and lives by the book of God, another reason why she wants to be close to his natural creations. in her spare time Fred writes children's novels for PTS publishing and is a french-malay-english translator for a certain company she never mentioned. her bahasa malaysia is a mile ahead of mine!
one thing i must point out though, i love the way she wears the kain batik. she's got heaps of them since its her staple wear while going about her business around Janda Baik. unlike the traditional way it is worn tied around the waist by hand, she gets hers sewn in a bias cut which is extremely flattering on the figure (i plan to emulate this look).
As we move on to a self-indulgent era surrounded by superficialities, (oh damn...the dark roots of my barbie bleached mane are showing and i haven't made an appointment with my hairdresser! like, yikes! i can't attend the party of the year where dj-i'm-just-here-to-score-hoe is performing looking like a blonde skunk gone wrong replica!) it was humbling to meet an individual like Fred. she reminds me: that the search for a spiritual happiness begins at the roots of God's gift, our beloved mother earth - if we can learn to observe with patience and a sense of adventure.
catch Malaysia My Second home beginning 6th april 2008, 4pm every Sundays on ntv7.
p/s: Fred's episode won't be on air til may
xo
Friday, March 21, 2008
faith fool
mummy always tells me, boys are like chocolate cake. a few spoonfuls savor the taste buds lavishly while a decadent serving of the sweet confection leads to an overpowering piquant after-taste that's bad for every part of the self, from the teeth right through to the heart.
in my opinion, when you've eaten too much cake and respectively diagnosed with diabetes you visit an endocrinologist.
after a prescribed treatment involving pills and rehabilitation, you can and will, hopefully get back on track.
which brings me to my case in point: there are no remedial treatments when a boy wrecks the living daylights out of you.
of course, high on the list are girlfriends at hand for moral support. check. tried and tested, yes, it works for the few minutes they lend their shoulder to cry on. once they're gone the sting flares on.
retail therapy does not work because the one person you especially doll up for, is at the moment your antagonist.
forget listening to sad love songs which make you feel even more sorry for yourself.
and then, you're not even motivated to talk to your family members because like a record that loops itself they monotonously repeat- 'oh, you'll get over this. a relationship cannot be perfect at all times' - in that irritatingly wise, been-there-done-that tone.
watching re-runs of sex & the city helps a little. it reminds us, that we are not one and alone in feeling helpless and mildly defeated in the perpetual battle of intimate complexities with the Martians we can't help but hate to love.
in my opinion, when you've eaten too much cake and respectively diagnosed with diabetes you visit an endocrinologist.
after a prescribed treatment involving pills and rehabilitation, you can and will, hopefully get back on track.
which brings me to my case in point: there are no remedial treatments when a boy wrecks the living daylights out of you.
of course, high on the list are girlfriends at hand for moral support. check. tried and tested, yes, it works for the few minutes they lend their shoulder to cry on. once they're gone the sting flares on.
retail therapy does not work because the one person you especially doll up for, is at the moment your antagonist.
forget listening to sad love songs which make you feel even more sorry for yourself.
and then, you're not even motivated to talk to your family members because like a record that loops itself they monotonously repeat- 'oh, you'll get over this. a relationship cannot be perfect at all times' - in that irritatingly wise, been-there-done-that tone.
watching re-runs of sex & the city helps a little. it reminds us, that we are not one and alone in feeling helpless and mildly defeated in the perpetual battle of intimate complexities with the Martians we can't help but hate to love.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
fashion blog
it's fashion week again, and possibly the most exciting date in my virtual calender! the cold hard truth is this: what you wear represents who you are. people don't conventionally carry scalpels and dissect your insides to form a basis of judgement on your character. so if you don't care enough to step out of the house looking your best, don't discriminate the rest of us who recognize the beauty which surrounds us.
back to fashion week, there's just something about seeing those too-skinny, yet gorgeous models strut the runway with clothes so immaculately thought of, designed and sewed to life. a girl can only dream to own walk-in-closets filled with creations by halston, lagerfeld, de la renta, leger, elbaz etc...
for now i can only be inspired and replicate the aesthetics of these sartorial geniuses with finds in the high street stores.
major fashion houses commonly showcase 4 collections a year, including ready-to-wear (spring/summer & fall/winter collections) and couture (s/s & f/w) but have recently added pre-season collections for s/s and f/w too, which amounts to 6 collections per designer a year.
as new york fashion week wrapped up yesterday over the tents at bryant park, i had the strongest urge to write down my reviews of the f/w '08 collections. since fashion reporting hardly fits in the vignette of this blog, i thought, 'hey why not start another blog as an outlet for my fascination with the ongoings of the fashion world!'.
it's not rocket science really, but i promise not to be superficial on this new endeavour, aptly titled Fashion Muse
back to fashion week, there's just something about seeing those too-skinny, yet gorgeous models strut the runway with clothes so immaculately thought of, designed and sewed to life. a girl can only dream to own walk-in-closets filled with creations by halston, lagerfeld, de la renta, leger, elbaz etc...
for now i can only be inspired and replicate the aesthetics of these sartorial geniuses with finds in the high street stores.
major fashion houses commonly showcase 4 collections a year, including ready-to-wear (spring/summer & fall/winter collections) and couture (s/s & f/w) but have recently added pre-season collections for s/s and f/w too, which amounts to 6 collections per designer a year.
as new york fashion week wrapped up yesterday over the tents at bryant park, i had the strongest urge to write down my reviews of the f/w '08 collections. since fashion reporting hardly fits in the vignette of this blog, i thought, 'hey why not start another blog as an outlet for my fascination with the ongoings of the fashion world!'.
it's not rocket science really, but i promise not to be superficial on this new endeavour, aptly titled Fashion Muse
Sunday, January 27, 2008
when life comes full circle
in the wake of a beloved uncle's passing, my heart and prayers goes out to his wife, 3 children, mother, 4 brothers & 5 sisters in this difficult time.
diagnosed with myeloma cancer late 2006 which shook the core of our family's blessedness, we never could have anticipated and prepared ourselves enough for something of this measure.
it is with His grace and compassion that we submit to his return to the Almighty, where we can only pray that his suffering has ceased, and his soul can finally be at peace.
we were so fortunate to have you for as long as we did & you will never leave our thoughts.
diagnosed with myeloma cancer late 2006 which shook the core of our family's blessedness, we never could have anticipated and prepared ourselves enough for something of this measure.
it is with His grace and compassion that we submit to his return to the Almighty, where we can only pray that his suffering has ceased, and his soul can finally be at peace.
we were so fortunate to have you for as long as we did & you will never leave our thoughts.
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