up my sleeves

it's been an appealing few weeks closing in to the year end. to be honest, it's possibly the one month this year i've had (close) to nothing to grouse about. even on a spiritual/noncognitive level i'm content! that, coming from me, is major.
maybe, as stated in my earlier post, tis (is) the season to be jolly...
lots of celebrations too. in the past few weeks i've:

- attended my step sister's birthday - i got her a Man Utd jersey. she's 7 and already a fanatic. kids these days.

- attended manja's wedding - by far one of the more interesting weddings i've had the chance to attend this year, since there has been seriously way too many, to put it mildly, 'substandard' weddings i've had to endure.

- celebrated my 1st year with cupcakes (euphemism for boyfriend). oh, how far we've come and even further i've fallen (in a good way). i know comparing is a huge no-no, but if thought i loved before it was all in vain. i got the most gorgeously and thoughtful (i love lillies!) bouquet of flowers ever which included red & pink roses, purple & white lillies and white & purple baby's breath. so beautiful. never took him for a flower giving sorta guy. we went for a lovely dinner too @ cava, bangsar and ended the night by watching tristan & isolde (an epic love story). i couldn't ask for more.

- caught up with sash and hunny - finally. 3 of us together at one spot, having tea at 12am @ mezza notte. everyone's so busy with their schedules and that's created a brimming hole in my social life. i miss my girls. all i see are boys these days (baby, if u're reading this, this is in no way an attempt to complain about having to hang out your friends :) really. they're the nicest bunch of boys i've ever met). hariz managed to join us for abit after his flight arrived from perth.

- celebrated raya haji - we committed our usual routine: grandma's hse, visited my late grandad & cousin's graveyards, 7-11...which didn't have those mini cornettos so we headed to giant, back to grandmas, eat nasi tomato, gossip with cousins, eat kuih, take pictures, eat laksa johor, listening to aunties do their usual round of 'ahh...reem, bila nak khawin...dah boleh khawin nii...ada boyfriend tak', eat roti jala, play with the little cousins, eat more kuih, take more family photos, eat ice cream.

- dyed my hair while sash got her bangs done @ some couture hair salon at the gardens. i like the my new shade,it's darker. more catherine zeta than say, mischa barton. it was a safe choice.

the next few days are gonna be joy-filled too. i'm attending iva + raja's wedding on the 29th, since a 'beyond-my-control-circumstance-which-had-pretty-much-everything-to-do-with-my-
much-loved-equestrian' episode made me miss their akad nikah at the masjid literally 'down the street' from my house last weekend. and then i'm off to singapore on the 30th for new year's and hopefully new shoes!
needless to say, i'm glad 2007 is coming to an end. it wasn't a memorable one to say the least. BUT, i have this rosy inkling that 2008's gonna be superrific.

mind over matter

as recently as a year back, i've made choices primarily using the heart. Wikipedia defines the heart as:

The heart is a muscular organ responsible for pumping blood through the blood vessels by repeated, rhythmic contractions.

i'm sure we all remember that from beginner's biology. and so, my diligence lies (or laid) within the measure of cumulative peripheral activity of an organ. that said, my ways were deemed valuable and worth reminiscing, unlike now where the essence of viability is depreciated. it's like comparing something as bland as Lego to Barbie. no offence intended to those who grew up loving Lego. I'm sure you built amazing blocks to the extent of which your creativity allowed, but 1 Lego on its own is weak. Or take the example of having a regular shower after getting caught in the rain instead of an indulgent bubble bath with lavender oils and candles lit up on the side.

back to the subject, today i'm forced (and i don't mean lightly) to use my head. logic overrules emotion. i can't find a more diplomatic way to say it other than it really sucks. there's no room left to be driven by our intuition without mentally calculating the risks, thus conforming to the safest route of action. i've honestly lost all passion for all the things i wanted as a kid. i wake up in the morning and get through the day with the same mundane routines because i have to, not that i want to. i can't care less about any of it, and it's not like i haven't tried to be passionate about things but the minute i do, it gets crushed by incomprehensible makings beyond my control (which relates everything back to this damned thing masked as logic. AHHHH). it's all become so mechanical. aptly pertinent to the current era of information technology. you've got my word when i say that i'd capsize my gorgeous white macbook into the deep end of the pacific ocean for an ounce of compassion to creep its way back into my days.

tis the season to be jolly...

it's that time of year...when everything is so magical. there's something, just something about Christmas that i can't really put my finger on...

...back in Sayfol, i remember taking part in special xmas assemblies where we'd put on shows, sing xmas carols and delight in Kris Kringles where we'd pick a name randomly out of a hat and play secret santa for a week. oh, i was so excited about the whole occasion! going to school early to hide my gift under my chosen person's desk without getting caught and also anticipating what gift i'd receive that day. the whole school would get so caught up in the spirit of Kris Kringle, trying to get everyone else to spill the beans on who's secret santa they were or if they knew who my own secret santa was. it's true when they say that the best moments of your life are those made in school

...or maybe it's the whole hype played out by the media like;
Home Alone: when Macaulay Culkin had his 'moment' under the Christmas tree at the Rockerfeller Center when he reunited with his mum and the friendship dove he gave the pigeon women xmas morning
Love Actually: When the little girl sings 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' at the school play...with the boy crush on the drums, and then curtains are drawn upon the president kissing his secretary for everyone's view
Serendipity: when Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack fight over the last pair of cashmere gloves at Bloomingdales

...songs like Wham's 'Last Christmas', Marilyn Monroe's 'Santa Baby' & Tony Bennett's 'Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire' instantly put me in a Christmas mood! (I'm listening to N'Sync's 'Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays' now - i actually bought their Home For Christmas album yonks ago -

it's a wonderful feeling
Feel the love in the room from the floor to the ceiling
It's that time of year
Christmas time is here la la la)

...xmas trees, lights & ornaments, mistletoe, shopping sales, exchanging gifts, xmas crackers, ginger cookies (my ABSOLUTE favourite!), fruit cake, turkey & cranberry sauce, eggnog

Of course just like the imaginary santa, the spirit of xmas is all what you personally make of it. we don't have snow or open fires or huge xmas trees in the middle of merdeka square. i celebrate the season, not for it's secular aspects (far, far from it). it's a merry, merry-ful season that i'm more than obliged to get sucked into.

and like the cherry on the cherry pie, xmas has more significance this year more than ever! it's been a full year since i've been IN love, and i've never been happier. from now on my troubles are far away...